Gimme More Chicharon

By now you’ve already probably heard Britney Spears’ new single ‘Piece of Me’. If you haven’t, you don’t know that Britney actually bigs up the Philippines in the song. BRRAP BRRRAP!Represent!

I’m Miss American Dream since I was 17 

Don’t matter if I step on the scene Or sneak away to the Philippines

They still gon put pictures of my derrière in the magazine

You want a piece of me? You want a piece of me…

I don’t know if Britney Spears has actually BEEN to the Philippines, but I know all the Tito Boys would be walking all macho-macho if they saw this blondie in the province.  

Most likely, she just used ‘Philippines’ for the rhyme with ‘American Dream’ (which in itself is ironic), but she did have other options like “the Pyrenees” or “Lichtenstein” or “Aberdeen” or “Medellin”… but maybe she likes going to malls.  

Britney, if you’re reading… here’s a Top 5 list of places in the Philippines you might find interesting:  

1. Wowowwee – these dancers are way cheesier than yours and they come with a talented choreographer – a dude named Judy. 

2. Greenhills – Aisles and aisles of panties for sale so no more cooch-flashes. Buy some SO-EN! 

3. Illegal Gambling Rooms in the barrio – so you can say “Hit Me Baby One More Time” at the poker table (or Gimme Gimme More Pulutan with my San Miguel) 

4. a Jeepney – There’s no seat belts or baby seats so no one can call you out for mishandling your child – everyone is equally unsafe! yay! 

5. Nanny Placement Agency – where millions of Filipino caregivers wait for the chance to take care of your kids better than you can (but maybe not better than K-Fed)  

BTW, if you haven’t yet seen the new video, check it: