What a whirlwind past week it was.
Last week, I QUIT MY JOB.
Just up and walked out. It was a startup that seemed promising in the beginning but the promise began to plummet slowly over the past few months, and the staff began dropping off one-by-one, either due to the increasingly unstable bosses’ tempermental tirades or just because they plain stopped being paid.
I was safe; having all the experience under my belt made me valuable to the company and I was sure that no matter what, the boss would do whatever it took to keep me, and he did, despite the warning signs going off all around me.
Last week, having lost his personal assistant, the boss did the unthinkable. He asked me to download his personal information from his Blackberry and upload it to his new Blackberry. My title there is EDITOR, meaning, I edit film and video. Clearly, this was a bad situation happening and I took it as an insult.
Then I walked out and never came back.
I think JOBS ARE LIKE RELATIONSHIPS. If you’re gonna quit, then quit. Don’t let it linger.
1. Because the more you stick around, the harder it is to move on.
2. You waste so much energy being in the “I’m still fucked up” mode that you are FILLED with it and therefore, NEW GOOD can’t come in and FILL YOU and REFRESH YOU. That’s called baggage and both employers AND new guys/girls hate it.
I ignored phone calls, emails and text messages asking me what was up, until I was ready formulate my response.
Then I let him have it – I won’t print the letter although I did save it, because who DOESN’T at some point dream of telling his or her nightmare boss that they are IGNORANT, IRRESPONSIBLE, INCOMPETENT and an IMBECILE. And those are just some of the words I used in my forceful and still diplomatic resignation email after the fact.
The days that followed were constant phone calls promising $ and raises to get me back. Having already made myself clear, I ignored them.
And then the boss did it.
To find me I guess to persuade me to come back and locate video resources and elements that only I knew of…
HE SHOWED UP AT MY OLD PLACE LOOKING FOR ME.
Lucky that my former roommate is a strong woman who can probably kick the shit out of most men. But what if she wasn’t? What if it was my mom? My sister? My girlfriend? Strong women all, but not if its some crazy guy who is about to lose millions.
I’m generally a nice guy, but there are limits.
I phoned my boss and told him off vocally, that there was NO excuse for showing up in person and that if I see him anywhere near my space, that he wouldn’t be looking for videos, but he’d be on the floor in a matter of seconds looking for lost teeth.
I haven’t heard from him since.
—-
This is the job that I chose over staying on full with my partners Romeo and Caroline. Honestly, I am still down til the end, but it really did break my heart.
I had no choice… debt was getting crazy out of hand and this job offered a chance to erase a lot of that. So, for the first time EVER… I chose MONEY over LOVE.
They have made me so proud and one of the ideas floating around from when it was a 3 legged tripod still has come to fruition… the FEATURE FILM that we ALL have dreamt of has begun principal photography.
So, good things are happening… and a HUGE hole remains in me, because I started that with them and I bowed out of the adventure so I could take care of REAL LIFE. It was the BIGGEST sacrifice I have ever had to make and I think about it at least once every day.
—-
Since last week I have been on the hustle. Hitting the pavement to make sure that I’m not jobless for long.
I was lucky enough to get swung a great project teaching video to kids in the city’s challenged neighbourhoods. Just the kind of thing I want to do.
Still, only a month long contract.
What would I do after?
The stress of uncertainty plus all the poetry shows going on is leaving me exhausted; my muscles ache, my bones feel worn.
—-
The other week I was complaining to Rosalyn about how things are so hard — why I’ve given so much from the heart and why is it always a fight… a struggle… a hustle. It’s been like that forever, and I’m getting tired.
I have always chosen love, faith, creativity, idealism… and that’s a path less taken and cubicles that contain those things are in short supply.
But I hate the fact that my life’s theme phrase has always been
“It’s all about the love”
and
“Something’s Gotta Give”
I’ve paid NUFF dues. LOVE NEEDS TO START PAYING ME BACK.
Leaps of faith are good, but for once… I want to stick the landing.
—-
SUNDAY
I got a call.
“Leonard Cervantes, you seem perfect for a job. Come in on Monday and talk about it.”
And so I did, and I was perfect.
IRONICALLY, the things that made me attractive to them were the things in my life that I had done out of LOVE, FAITH, IDEALISM and the like. They liked the fact that I worked on St. Jamestown with my friends, the fact that I worked with YOUTH for so many years, the fact that I worked on FLIPtv.
They didn’t care how much money I made at that last job, or what degrees I held.
They wanted to know how much of the breadth and depth of my life I could bring into the job as well as my technical knowledge and skill, which was all learned on the LOVE projects, not the $$ ones.
As of today, the called right back and snapped me up off the free agent market.
3 business days after walking out of my OLD JOB…
I’m walking into HERE as the newest Producer on the staff.
And I’ve waiting for THIS my whole life.
—-
They say, “Don’t give up… do what you love… the money will follow… follow your passion”
and here it is… the prophecy manifested.
So I’m not in the Philippines with my friends working on the movie. Maybe I’m meant to be here doing this. Maybe I’ll make a power move that enables my friends and I to break into Canadian TV. Who knows?
What I do know is, that today, I’m a product of ALL I’ve done and it finally feels good.
.
